1. |
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WHEN THE MAGIC WENT WRONG
When the magic went wrong -
Abracadabra - it’s a book and some songs;
Tales of a past life in conjuring tricks,
But it probably never really happened.
You’d think it never really happened.
Hey presto! Turn another page -
I was the runaway son who leapt on the stage,
Never quite grasping the tricks of my trade,
But it probably never really happened;
You could say it never really happened.
Then the magic turned black -
Mishap and misfortune always on my back,
And sinister forces trying to knock me off track,
Like Dolores, and Barbra, and Barrington Small -
Characters who didn’t help me at all.
They tried to play me like a ping pong ball,
But they couldn’t make me disappear.
Tap the hat with the wand
And step into a world of illusion and phenomenon.
If you do take a look, well it won’t take you long
To learn about how the magic went...
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2. |
The Mayor of Bridlington
02:49
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THE MAYOR OF BRIDLINGTON
I need you to make me disappear -
Step into a case, vanish without trace;
There’s a reason I need not to be here.
See it in my face -
I’m absolutely clear about it.
I’ll be your willing volunteer -
Put me in the box with the special locks.
Oh, I don’t have anything to fear.
See it in my face -
Nobody must hear about it.
I’ll go in the casket -
I’ll step through the false floor
When you pull the lever
That releases the trapdoor.
Down into the darkness,
They’ll never know I’m gone,
And I’ll give them such a big surprise
When I turn up later on.
I need you to make me disappear -
Step into a case, vanish without trace -
It could be very good for your career.
See it in my face -
I’m absolutely clear about it.
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3. |
The £200 Wallet
04:12
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THE £200 POUND WALLET
The sounds of the sea
As I’m drifting back,
Drifting back in time,
To a life before me,
And I’m drifting back,
Drifting back.
Watching the oars
Glancing over the waves,
Drifting back, drifting further back.
The sounds of the sea,
The heat of the sun,
And I’m drifting back.
“Good day madam, please pick a card,
Put it back in the pack
And think real hard,
Concentrate upon the number
In the front of your mind.
Was this your card?
Was this your card?”
“And you, sir, could you come up here?
A round of applause, please,
For our next volunteer.
Open up your wallet,
Focus with your eyes,
And watch it disappear -
Watch it disappear.”
“He’s taken the cash out -
The man is a fraud!
There was 200 quid there -
Everyone saw!
Stop him from leaving!
We’ll make him pay
Before he gets away!”
“Oh, he’s trying to say
I’ve stolen his money;
Well that’s the oldest trick in the book.
Oh, you can’t trick a tricker -
You’ll have to be quicker,
Before you start suggesting I’m a crook!”
She never woke up,
She kept drifting back,
Drifting back in time,
The vast endless sea -
She kept drifting back,
Drifting back.
Watching the oars
Glancing over the waves,
Drifting back, drifting further back,
And there on the deck,
A bundle of £20 notes.
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4. |
The New Assistant
03:34
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THE NEW ASSISTANT
I’m looking for a new assistant -
Somebody capable,
Who knows the game;
Someone reliable and consistent;
Somebody comfortable
With fortune and fame.
I’m looking for a new assistant -
Somebody to keep me in line;
To make sure all my work isn’t misspent;
And stop me going out of my mind.
Dolores del Mondo, real name Denise,
Twelve years experience and expertise,
And it’s none of my business -
The time that she spends
With her gentlemen friends.
Oh, Dolores, Dolores,
The best in her field,
But she had a secret
That she kept concealed,
And after so many years
She says it’s time to move on.
Oh, how will I cope
When Dolores is gone?
I’m looking for a new assistant -
Someone capable, who knows the game;
Somebody lovable and not so distant;
A partner, an equal - the same.
I was looking for a new assistant,
But I didn’t expect what I got:
Heartaches that were very persistent
And my world tangled up in a knot.
My life changed
The day that I met Martine -
She helped me to devise
A whole new routine.
She was the toast of Paris,
Marseilles and Lyon,
With the je ne sais quoi
Of the Chevalier d’Eon.
And that’s when Martine
Became mon amour,
But we had to part
At the end of the tour.
Oh, I broke her heart
And she broke mine,
And now she’s on the run,
And I’m at the end of the line.
I’m looking for a new assistant -
Someone stole my act and my name.
Somebody left me feeling nonexistent.
Someone left me an insurance claim.
I’m looking for a new assistant -
Somebody who isn’t insane;
Somebody flexible and fire resistant;
Someone who can extinguish the flame.
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5. |
The Dummy
04:04
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THE DUMMY
The unknowing audience at the seaside theatre
Settle in their seats as the lights go out.
The stage is set, the curtain rises
On the greatest show in town,
Without a doubt.
Straight off Broadway!
Just One Night Only!
- The seasoned entertainer
And the goggle-eyed doll.
They look to the audience;
They look straight at you;
They can see inside your soul.
A nod to the sound desk,
And dark words are channelled
To the ears of a girl in the eighteenth row.
They’re inside her head.
She’s clearly distraught
And no-one reassures her
That it’s only a show.
Shouts in the front stalls,
Heckles and cat-calls -
The act of the century is not going well.
Someone’s taken control,
As the dolls eyes roll,
And the joke’s gone all to hell.
The artist cracks an awkward grin,
To try to keep the crowd onside.
There’s nothing he can do
To get things under control -
On stage there is nowhere to hide.
A kick and a crash,
And the lights go out -
The audience just jeers,
And all that they see
When the lights go on again
Is a stool and a gottle o’ geer.
Kings of the West End!
The Dummy and his friend -
The artist-entertainer
And the goggle-eyed doll.
They looked at the audience;
They looked straight at you;
They could see inside your soul.
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6. |
Intermission
00:35
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7. |
Talismano
01:58
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TALISMANO
Prospero and Antonio,
Brothers beneath the sea,
Carved by the niece
Of the King of Naples,
Rescued, and lost again by Shelley.
This fair woman of Sorrento
Did find
Entwined, the Gemelli.
One good, one bad -
A Talismano cursed.
Damned are those unknowing souls,
Yet blessed is he who is versed
In the knowledge of the Gemelli,
Their power,
This hour, reversed.
Fortune brings her just reward,
Whilst fate deals a bitter hand.
Talismano, Talismano!
The Dance of Death, his Sarabande;
What evil lies in that embrace?
The twins
Your sins command.
Thanatos delivers the tainted prize,
Crushing another in his stride.
Earthly riches bestowed
With balanced carnage abides.
The Gemelli Maledetti
In wealth and
Ill health reside.
Only fire can break the spell,
Invoke the Talismano’s name.
Set alight that first reward -
The twins are also set aflame.
Over and done with -
No more war!
No more shall they proclaim.
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8. |
The Triennial
03:22
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THE TRIENNIAL
(Watching the skies)
Wait for the return of the lone Spitfire
On a mission of misinformation.
(Open your eyes)
See beyond the confines
Of your heart’s desire -
The blatant exploitation.
Call it subterfuge,
Call it creativity.
Some call it art.
Some call it trickery.
“But we’ll shake it up,” she said.
“Oh, we’ll shake it up.”
“C’mon we’ll shake it up,” she said.
“Oh, we’ll shake it up.”
(Watching the screen)
Waiting for an image,
But there’s nothing there -
Just anticipation.
(Opened unseen)
See the senseless shadows
From the TV glare -
No explanation.
Some say it’s planned,
Some say it’s audacity.
Some don’t understand
When it’s revolutionary.
“‘Cause we'll shake it up,” she said.
“Oh, let’s shake it up.”
“When we were young,” she said
“They filled our heads
With Alice and John Tenniel.
These days round here,
We’re through the looking glass -
It’s time for the Triennial.”
“But we'll shake it up,” she said.
“We’ll shake it up.”
When we were young,
They made the rules
Like they’d be evergreen, perennial.
Now I suppose anything goes -
It’s time for the Triennial.
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9. |
The Heist
04:38
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THE HEIST
In magic and theft, two rules was I taught:
Make sure that you plan well, and don’t get caught.
Both require courage and sharp sleight of hand -
And every trick must be carefully planned.
Well, Barbra Cadabra (though that’s not her real name),
Excelled at both arts and the courting of fame.
Oh, she wanted me for her next major job,
And I couldn’t say no – she was backed by the mob.
A ship called Magic, a bountiful hoard,
Had sailed into Dover with thousands on board.
Could I make the ship vanish from sight?
In front of an audience? In broad daylight?
She plied all the guests with dubious champagne,
And the ship sailed out of the harbour again,
She’d knocked them unconscious with some Mickey Finn,
And while they were out, her henchmen moved in.
And pocket by pocket, their cards were all cloned,
And they slowly awoke, hungover and stoned,
But one amongst them had not slept through it all -
Said he would inform if we didn’t play ball.
And Barbra just smiled as I watched in despair -
Said she’d alter the split, and now he’d get my share.
And that’s when they all drove off fast in a van -
And it’s the last that I saw of them - woman or man.
And the ship called Magic was stranded adrift,
Out in the Channel, with thousands bereft,
And though they were conned, and I was too,
I’ve lived to tell this tale to you.
Fate steps in and sees you through.
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10. |
Clash of Minds
03:15
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CLASH OF MINDS
Barrington Small (or Daniel S. Paul),
Hypnotic mystic - the darkest of all.
Dressed in his cape, at the dawn of nightfall -
Looking like he’d come from a masquerade ball.
Barrington Small.
Looking like he’d come from a masquerade ball.
A cat, a cathedral, or just a football,
If I drew a picture, he’d make it go small -
Too hard to decipher the miniscule scrawl.
He’d do anything to bring about my downfall.
Barrington Small.
Yeah, he’d do anything to bring about my downfall.
A clash of minds!
Marvel at the miracles of mesmerism!
Two of a kind!
Death defying feats of hypnotism!
Head to head!
Unnatural displays of magnetism!
Just me and him - this time it’s personal!
Barrington Small put up a brick wall -
Whatever I tried, couldn’t get through at all.
The crowd were enthralled by this last curtain call -
A battle of minds in the Old Music Hall.
Barrington Small.
A battle of minds in the Old Music Hall.
He started to bawl at the end of our brawl -
He started to shrink, then he started to crawl.
My nemesis could no longer stand tall -
And that was the end of Barrington Small.
Barrington Small.
And that was the end of Barrington Small.
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11. |
The Painting
03:42
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THE PAINTING
A portrait captures a likeness.
The painting captures a spell,
Captures the spirit of everyone
Who within its realm doth dwell.
The showman catches your focus.
The painter catches his eye,
Catches the moment
When the magic goes awry.
What secrets the painting holds!
What power it retains!
When lives are caught within its frame
What beauty remains?
A warm summer’s afternoon -
The painting captures the scene,
Captures distant clouds
And nearby crowds,
And everything in between.
The girl ahead of her parents -
The stranger catches her smile,
Catches her imagination.
Let the wonders now beguile!
What lives lost the painting holds!
What memories it retains!
When distant thoughts are duly caught,
What freedom remains?
One man can free the captive people,
Break the painting’s lasting curse,
Release them from their painted prison,
Make the evil spell reverse.
His name shall be forever blessed
Within the conjuring universe.
A portrait captures a likeness,
But what can capture relief,
Capture the moment
That they’re unlocked,
From a lifetime bound in grief?
The singer caught your attention -
The painting catches the song,
Catches the moment
When the magic all went wrong.
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12. |
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WHEN THE MAGIC WENT WRONG (REPRISE)
Now the magic’s all gone,
We’ve come to the end of our collection of songs.
I hope we’ve inspired you to sing along,
But it probably never really happened.
I guess it never really happened.
Don’t worry. Turn the final page.
Play the last encore and get off the stage.
Remember all the stories from a different age,
But it probably never really happened.
You could say it never really happened.
When the magic expired,
I could have vanished; I could have retired,
Instead I chose to do whatever fate required,
No thanks to the people who plotted my fall -
I turned their bad energy back on them all,
And though I was sometimes facing desperation’s call,
They couldn’t make me disappear.
Close the book, 1-2-3,
And come back from a world of deception to reality,
Oh, but never forget about what happened to me,
Now you know how bad the magic can...
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Papernut Cambridge Folkestone, UK
Kent based project formed by Ian Button - formerly guitarist with Death In Vegas, Thrashing Doves and many others, now prolific underground producer/writer (Go-Kart Mozart etc...) and co-founder of Gare du Nord Records in 2013.
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